The heroine is a disturbed artistic virginal teenager who becomes obsessed by two oversexed walruses from the local aquarium. She imagines them pursuing her with libidinous intent throughout her day, and intervening whenever her boyfriend Dirk tries to get physical. It’s well worth ploughing through this rambling, confused and self-indulgent post-feminist yarn to get to surely the most graphic walrus-themed erotica ever printed.

Can I quote you a bit?

“They gyrated together, the male on top, his tusks forming dents in the female’s neck. He cried out out his tusks shaking as he roared with ecstasy. They pounded themselves together, flippers slapping against the snow covered rocks …

His snout quivvered, the wrinkled skin glistening in the sun. I opened my mouth as the walrus roared with release …

If I closed my eyes I could still see the walrus’s head thrown back, the males tusks resting heavily in the fleshy mate’s neck. When I looked up I saw my reflection in the depths of a walrus’ milky eye …”

And so on. And that’s censoring out the rudest bits!

A little weekend reading guaranteed to put anyone in the mood.