How dedicated am I to finding new posts for the World Wide Walrus Web? Dedicated enough to download a self-professed “Chick Lit” eBook to my Kindle, that’s how. And not just download it, but to read it too? In fact, I really enjoyed it. Now, you don’t come across a romantic comedy set in a walrus sanctuary everyday (and if you’re reading this, Jennifer Aniston/Sandra Bullock you may want to contact Ms. Orsoff and option this story right about now…) so I suppose a little information about how the story is in order.
Here’s a synposis from Beth Orsoff’s website:
When Los Angeles publicist Sydney Green convinces her boss to let her produce a documentary for the Save the Walrus Foundation, the only one Sydney Green is interested in saving is herself. The walruses are merely a means to improving her career and her love life, and not necessarily in that order. Sydney would’ve killed the project the second she learned she’d be the one having to spend a month in rural Alaska if it had been for any other client. But for rising star and sometimes boyfriend Blake McKinley, no sacrifice is ever too great.
Yet a funny thing happens on the way to the Arctic. A gregarious walrus pup, a cantankerous scientist, an Australian sex goddess, a Star Wars obsessed six-year-old, and friends and nemeses both past and present rock Sydney Green’s well-ordered world. Soon Sydney must choose between doing what’s easy and doing what’s right
I enjoyed this ebook, it’s a great fun read for your next flight or beach trip when you need some escapist storytelling, and of course, you want your story to include a liberal helping of walrus! I must admit that the main walrus fact I took away from reading this book is that, um, walrus don’t smell very good. Like not good at all. OK, they smell really bad. So bad in fact, that I want to go to a walrus sanctuary like the one in the book and check it out for myself.
Beth Orsoff’s website is at http://www.bethorsoff.com and she has a facebook page as well. I should point out that I emailed Beth about doing this posting, and not only did she link to the World Wide Walrus Web from her Facebook page, but she sent me a very friendly reply. Makes me feel good about spending my three bucks on her book!
Here’s a link to buy the ebook on Amazon.com
How I Learned to Love the Walrus (an Arctic Romantic Comedy)
Here’s a link to a nice interview on ebookhighlights.com: Beth Orsoff on Walruses and love matters
Have you had chance to read ‘Portrait Of The Walrus By A Young Artist’ by Laurie Foos? An altogether stranger beast.
The heroine is a disturbed artistic virginal teenager who becomes obsessed by two oversexed walruses from the local aquarium. She imagines them pursuing her with libidinous intent throughout her day, and intervening whenever her boyfriend Dirk tries to get physical. It’s well worth ploughing through this rambling, confused and self-indulgent post-feminist yarn to get to surely the most graphic walrus-themed erotica ever printed.
Can I quote you a bit?
“They gyrated together, the male on top, his tusks forming dents in the female’s neck. He cried out out his tusks shaking as he roared with ecstasy. They pounded themselves together, flippers slapping against the snow covered rocks …
His snout quivvered, the wrinkled skin glistening in the sun. I opened my mouth as the walrus roared with release …
If I closed my eyes I could still see the walrus’s head thrown back, the males tusks resting heavily in the fleshy mate’s neck. When I looked up I saw my reflection in the depths of a walrus’ milky eye …”
And so on. And that’s censoring out the rudest bits!
A little weekend reading guaranteed to put anyone in the mood.